Special Edition: Exploring Anger
What if anger and rage are signposts we can follow back to love? Would that change your relationship with those feelings?
This special edition of The Explorer’s Log is a departure from your votes on the last poll. Don’t worry, those stories are coming soon.
At some point in the future, these special edition posts will become part of a paid subscription. You can pledge your support below, which means you’ll get every special edition post, plus other bonus material and a chance to connect with your fellow explorers!
Getting to Know Anger
This week, I’m working through Chapter 3 of The Artist’s Way, which begins with a section on anger. I’m continually surprised to discover how uncomfortable most women are with feeling or expressing their anger. Personally, I have a bottomless well of rage that I’ve learned to channel productively so I don’t become bitter and resentful.
The book suggests that anger is a guide that points us toward changes we want to make.
As I sat with this idea, I recognized that my anger often signals that an important boundary has been crossed and needs to be addressed. It also tells me what I’m passionate about and the causes I want to support. My anger has even shown up as the green-eyed monster of jealousy, providing clues about the success, recognition, and achievements I want to pursue.
A Surprising Discovery About Anger
While writing my morning pages and letting my thoughts about anger flow out, I stumbled upon a surprise.
It seems that the bottomless well of anger I possess is actually coming from a place of deep love. This anger shows up around topics and situations involving injustice, inequality, harm, and a lack of consideration for others and myself.
What could it look like if we allowed our anger to bubble to the surface and followed it back to a place of love?
What would it feel like to welcome your rage and let it be a signpost pointing you toward what’s hurting? What would it look like to allow these feelings to fuel the actions needed for change or healing?
An Invitation for Exploration
You are about to witness the expression of anger. If it makes you uncomfortable, consider this an invitation to examine why. What beliefs do you hold about the feeling or expression of anger by you or anyone else?
I’m not asking you to agree with me or validate my anger. I’m simply asking you to consider a point of view that may be different from your own.
See if you can imagine why I, or anyone else, would be angry at the circumstances, systems, and structures that are the target of this tirade. This is an opportunity to practice open-mindedness.
Red Hot Rage
I’m angry that many societies place little value on women beyond the pleasure their warm bodies can offer and their wombs as baby-making machines. I’m angry at the patriarchal systems that normalize violence against women and anyone who isn’t a cisgender heterosexual white male. There is an entirely new depth of rage for those who blame the victims for the violence and abuse they receive.
I’m angry that mediocre white men are praised for their half-assed work while receiving exponentially more opportunities and financial success than others who work their fingers to the bone and are barely able to make ends meet. How is one man’s work in a corner office more valuable than the woman’s who taught his child how to read? The lack of respect for any profession that requires compassion and empathy is absolutely astounding.
I rage against those who claim to be “self-made men” in a society where their road to success was paved by those whom the system has oppressed for generations. Even more infuriating are those same “self-made men” who are unwilling or unable to acknowledge their privilege and continually refuse to make room for anyone else at the table.
The Tip of the Iceberg
This is only the smallest glimpse into the rage I carry toward the outdated and oppressive systems of our society. I can now recognize that this anger comes from a deep love and compassion for my fellow humans and a desire to see equality for all. It shows me how strongly I believe that we all have gifts to share and deserve the opportunity to make a decent life for ourselves using them.
Those with wealth and power, the takers, rarely give back, throwing our entire ecosystem and society out of balance. They could not be where they are without those they treat so poorly and see as beneath them. Would I see this as clearly without the anger that rises to the surface when I encounter these situations?
The rage that comes when I witness injustice, inequality, and oppression gives me the strength to stand up for myself and others when I have the opportunity. My anger provides a megaphone to call for the changes I want to see and the fire to do what I can where I can. For that, I am grateful.
Reflection Time
This is the part where you get to explore what comes up for you around anger. Is it uncomfortable to witness someone expressing these feelings?
What makes you angry? Can you follow that anger back to a place of love or your deepest desires?
What is your relationship to feelings of rage? How do you express your anger? Do you allow yourself to let it out or do you suppress it, hoping it will disappear?
I would love to hear your thoughts. If you’d prefer to share privately, send me an email or a message! If you’re comfortable sharing publicly, leave a comment.
Getting to Know Your Anger
Is this a topic you’d like to have more conversation about? I’ve thought about hosting a workshop or conversation about ways to work with anger for years now, and maybe it’s time. Interested? Let me know!
If this post sparks ideas about other topics you’d like me to explore here, use this form to tell me!
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